4-T...The movement...

I don't think there's anyone within a 10-state radius unaware of my impending 40th birthday. If so, do advise me so that I can inform them.

40, 4-T, for me...I'm so excited about THIS one that I can hardly stand it. The events are booked, the outfit is planned, the movement is in motion, and so am I.

Why does it matter? "Age is nothing but a number" I hear, and I truly believe some (in my age range anyhow) saying that to me are playing roulette with how many times they can tell that lie before they are found out. If nothing else, the creaky knees, slower pace when getting out of bed in the morning, and needing 2 days of rest after the first all-nighter in 7 years will tell the truth for them.

Age is NOT just a number for me. It is a profound experience and a reminder that no day, no experience is to be taken for granted. "Time waits for no man," my mother always says. Truly not. I have my propensity for deep "chilling" and taking it easy when I'm ready, but I am not a time waster. My mind never stops, my pen is always moving, my life is always in motion, even when I am not. The people who offered my world balance have started to move to the other side, and relationships are in shift. I realize the patterns of destruction and delay that I have perpetuated, and I move more and more deliberately from them.

I was talking with a friend and as we discussed relationships, and what hindrances seem to exist to achieving that which we want so profoundly, I said this to her..."You're in a relationship with your insecurities," and told her that I recognize FINALLY the immense gift that this time of singlehood and correction are. This time to sit with myself, love myself, indulge myself, and have not thought to what ISN'T. This time of stark recognition that I get to enjoy the literal hell out of myself, heal myself, and hold myself close is purely blissful. I get to celebrate just because I can...Celebrate the new cheese I find at Whole Foods, a friend surviving a near-death experience, a nap, and landing the job of my dreams (this year)...etc.

After some deep periods of lament, lack mentality, and longing, I have my arms around this blessed season, for it will slip by unrecognized and unappreciated if I allow it to be so. So for me, age is more than a number. It is, as I say, a movement. It is authority, wisdom, clarity, power, and it IS. I love it, and I am ready for it...My evolution is my revolution.

40, 4-T, for me...